


In the End I’d do it all Again

by harlequin421



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Comfort fic, Future Fic, M/M, bo is actually trying, comfort for myself after episode 1.8, fluffy af, helen and gabe continue to be great, lots of talking and making out, slight angst, that's basically all that happens, traumatized people still dealing with trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 04:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8784001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequin421/pseuds/harlequin421
Summary: Philip wakes up from a nightmare about drowning eight months after Lukas got shot. It's not unusual.





	

**Author's Note:**

> comfort fic set in a not too distant future after the events of 1.08 because i'm still crying, and it got a little bit out of hand?? like this was supposed to be a sweet short fic and it turned into this, probably because I have TONS of feelings and they’re all, “I love you Lukas, please wake up.”  
> dedicated to darling dara, because she's the best, even though i'm the worst and forgot her bday

Philip sits down on the edge of the bed and just watches as Lukas sleeps.

His chest rises up and down, and Philip feels a sense of relief overwhelm him, even though it’s not like they’re in any immediate danger.

But he’d woken up from a dream that the water had been deeper than he’d anticipated, and it had left him gasping for breath, and pressing his ear to Lukas’ chest just to hear his heart beating. A move that Lukas had just accommodated to in his sleep, his arm dropping around Philip’s shoulder as he nuzzled closer, eyes not even opening.

Dreams where they both drowned because Philip couldn’t swim weren’t uncommon to him. Those had woken him up almost every night for weeks after Lukas had gotten shot.

It’s almost seven in the morning, and he’s already gone through three cups of coffee, and had a conversation with Helen about how he was doing, and how Lukas was doing as though she knew that he was asleep upstairs, which wasn’t something that Philip doubted.

Philip had stopped being subtle _months_ ago. And they don’t seem to have a problem with it as long as they keep things PG-13, a conversation that he’d actually had with Gabe that he’d rather not think about, at all.

Lukas is sleeping deeply and peacefully taking up most of his bed, probably because well, Philip’s restlessness had turned into desperation and maybe Philip broke several rules last night. It’s not as though Philip breaks all of the rules that Helen and Gabe set for him, but he’s eighteen, and his boyfriend had almost died eight months ago.

Philip had gotten up off the bed once it had started raining, but Lukas had remained knocked out letting Philip know that he’d tired him out last night.

He drops the empty mug of coffee on his night table, and turns to Lukas. He reaches out, hands trembling, and grabs the sheet covering his chest.

He takes a deep steadying breath, and tugs the sheet down gently.

He exposes the still raw pink scar on Lukas’ chest, which sometimes aches during stormy weather like right now, which explains the little frown on his face when Philip’s fingers brush over it.

Philip lies back down on the bed, and rests his head on his hand, elbow in the stuffing of his pillow.

He brushes his fingers over the scar again, and leans down and presses a kiss to it.

Lukas mumbles in his sleep, and wraps his arm around Philip.

Philip settles in whatever position Lukas pulls him into, and his fingers press a little harder against the scar, mouth pushed against Lukas’ shoulder.

Lukas hisses, and he rubs his hands up and down Philip’s back.

“Issit rainin’?” he mumbles voice low and rough with sleep.

Philip just nods, and moves so that he’s hovering over Lukas. He leans his head on his hand again, and Lukas grabs his other hand and moves it to his mouth, pressing a drowsy kiss to his fingers before tangling their fingers together.

“Why’re you ‘wake?”

He pushes his face up, and Philip smiles a small smile, before leaning down and pressing a slow languid kiss to Lukas’ waiting mouth.

Philip rests their joined hands on his chest and feels the heat of his skin, and his strong and steady heartbeat.

He pulls away from the kiss to press his head down against Lukas’ chest for the second time that morning.

The move wakes Lukas up some more.

“Hey, what’s up?”

Philip moves his head, and brushes another kiss across the scar, before sliding his mouth up to Lukas’ neck.

Lukas shudders, and both of his hands slide underneath Philip’s shirt.

Philip nips against the edge of his jaw. Lukas turns his face and slides their mouths together.

Philip kisses him using every trick he’s learned in the past couple of months against Lukas.

Lukas moans low in his throat, and pushes Philip on to his back, before sliding in between Philip’s spread thighs. He was still naked from last night, and was halfway to getting Philip’s shirt off, before he pulls back pressing his forehead against Philip’s.

“Don’t try to distract me with sex.”

“Oh, so that’s only okay when you do it?” Philip questions raising an eyebrow and brushing a kiss across Lukas’ mouth.

Lukas gives in for a couple of seconds before he’s pulling back.

“No, it’s okay when we both do it,” he smiles, and then looks at Philip seriously. “But there’s something bothering you, and while the sex will be amazing as always, what’s bothering you will still be bothering you afterwards. So come on, spill.”

Philip looks up at Lukas seriously. “It just hits me all over again, you almost died, eight months ago.”

Lukas’ eyes go even more serious, and he leans down and brushes their noses together pressing a chaste kiss to Philip’s mouth. “I’m right here. I didn’t go anywhere.”

“Objectively I know that, but trauma,” he points to his head rolling his eyes a bit to show that he’s not that serious.

Lukas tips his head back and starts pressing kisses down his chin whispering, “You want me to make you forget about everything, but my name?”

Philip just moans and tips his head farther back, letting Lukas suck on the skin of his throat probably leaving a trail of bruises that will be very obvious, but he doesn’t really care.

 “Yeah,” he says breathlessly. “That sounds like an A plus plan.”

Of course this is when Gabe knocks on his door.

“It’s almost seven son, time to start getting ready for school,” and then after a moment’s pause. “You too, Lukas.”

Lukas sprawls heavier on top of Philip while Philip just groans in frustration, and makes an attempt to get out from underneath him.

“Maybe,” Lukas sounds muffled from where he pressed his face into the pillow Philip is lying back against. “If we stay really still and quiet they’ll forget we’re even here.”

Philip snorts.

“Get off,” he says pushing against Lukas’ chest ineffectively.

Lukas presses their hips together hard, rubbing his morning wood all over Philip’s sweatpants.

“That’s what I was trying to do.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Philip says breathlessly.

Lukas moves to face him, and he just smiles, and frames Philip’s face in his hands before leaning down and pressing a light kiss to his mouth. “Do you know how much I love you?”

“So much your stomach hurts,” Philip answers back automatically. “Exactly how much I love you.”

Lukas’ grin goes even brighter and he presses another kiss on Philip’s mouth before there is another knock on the door, this time louder.

They both groan and turn to look at the door.

“I know you Lukas,” Gabe says. “Get off of Philip and get dressed, we’re having pancakes and there will be none for you if you’re not downstairs in fifteen minutes.”

Lukas looks down at Philip, “That’s more than enough time.”

“Okay,” Philip says, and hooks his calves over Lukas’ thighs and flips them over so that he’s on top. He leans down like he’s gonna kiss him, but stops just shy of reaching his mouth. “How about we get dressed, and eat breakfast, and get in my car, and then, continue this somewhere else?”

“So what you’re saying is that we should skip school to have sex?” Lukas asks eyebrows arched.

“What I’m saying is that I don’t want to be around anyone else but you today and I’m not missing Gabe’s pancakes just because you’re horny.”

He gets off of Lukas swiftly; just barely missing the grabby hands that were gonna pull him back in.

Lukas pouts at him from where he’s sprawling naked on Philip’s bed.

Philip eyes him up and down, and then gives him a smirk, and lifts his shirt up a little, until Lukas’ eyes are on his hips, riveted to the finger shaped bruises he’d left last night.

Philip pulls the shirt off over his head, revealing the rest of the hickies Lukas left on him, and turns to walk towards his closet.

He hears the sheets rustling on the bed, and isn’t even surprised when Lukas is suddenly right there pressing him into his closet door, and dragging a wet kiss across the nape of his neck.

“You’re being such a tease,” he whispers hotly.

“It won’t be teasing if I deliver on the promise, but you gotta put on clothes first.”

Lukas sighs like Philip is the worst, and pulls away.

 Philip bites down on his cheek so he doesn’t laugh, and pulls out a shirt and pants from his closet.

He gets dressed while watching Lukas look for his underwear which are probably tangled somewhere in the sheets, and then give up and just grabs his jeans where they were thrown across Philip’s room on to his computer desk, and slides them on.

Philip stops what he’s doing to watch this process, and his breath hitches a little, but it’s enough that Lukas hears it and looks up at him through his bangs.

“We’re not going to school anyway.”

Philip has no answer to that, so he finishes getting dressed and crosses the room to grab his boots.

He sits on the edge of his bed and puts on socks and slides his feet in his shoes, while Lukas walks across to the closet, and pulls out one of Philip’s shirts before slipping it on.

Philip rolls his eyes, but says nothing because he’s wearing Lukas’ jeans. He can tell, because they’re too long and he had to roll up the hems three times instead of two.

Philip sets both his feet back on the floor and ties his boots, when he looks back up Lukas is standing right in front of him.

Philip tips his head back and raises an eyebrow in question.

Lukas gives him one of those sweet, rare smiles, that isn’t like his sunshiney-can’t-contain-it smile, but more tender and loving.

“What?” Philip asks, his lips twitching to mirror Lukas smile.

“Nothing,” Lukas says, and moves closer, sliding neatly into the space between Philip’s knees and pressing quick chaste kisses to his mouth that make Philip forget exactly what they were getting dressed for.

Philip has his hands underneath Lukas’ shirt, and Lukas is tipping Philip back on to the bed when the door opens.

“Okay guys,” Gabe says as he enters. “I gave you fifteen minutes. Pancakes are done, but Lukas is getting cereal.”

Philip throws himself back on his bed as Lukas lets him go turning around and looking at Gabe with what could only be called a heartbroken expression.

“But I love your pancakes,” Lukas complains and follows Gabe as he walks out of the room like a lost puppy, forgetting all about Philip.

Philip leans up on his elbows and watches them go, completely ignoring the wink that Gabe sends him.

He just gets off the bed, and grabs both of their school bags before walking down after them rolling his eyes as he closes his door.

By the time he gets down the stairs and into the kitchen, Lukas is already halfway through his stack of pancakes.

Philip drops their bags by his feet and takes a seat across from Lukas.

He raises an eyebrow, and Lukas shrugs. “I love Gabe’s pancakes.”

“More than kissing me, apparently,” Philip says playing the hurt card. He doesn’t look up from his own stack of pancakes but he can hear it when Lukas’ fork clatters to the plate in shock.

Philip starts giggling, and Lukas kicks him on the shin lightly.

“I’m gonna get you back for that,” he threatens under his breath.

“Can’t wait,” Philip whispers back.

“Okay, enough flirting at the table.” Gabe says and sits down with his own stack of pancakes. “It’s eating time.”

“Helen working early today?” Lukas asks picking his fork back up.

Philip eats while they make small talk, and the rain patters against the windows.

It’s slower than it was earlier, but it’s still pretty heavy.

“You guys taking the car?” Gabe asks once they’re done and Philip is picking up all the plates and taking them to the sink. He stands up as Philip stands up, and reaches the sink first.

“I’ll do that, you guys go before it gets any worse out there.”

Philip leaves the plates in the sink.

Lukas gets their bags before he gives Gabe a hug goodbye, something that never fails to make a smile appear on Gabe’s face.

“Thanks for breakfast,” he says and lets go, smiling at Philip and throwing an arm around his shoulders before leading them out.

Philip makes sure to grab the umbrella on the way.

Still he freezes when they’re outside, and he can actually feel the droplets as they’re falling into the puddles at their feet.

Lukas takes the umbrella from his slack grip, and opens it.

He grabs his hand, threading their fingers together, and leads Philip to the car.

“Want me to drive?” Lukas asks.

Philip gives him an incredulous look. “You don’t even have a license.”

“You’ve been giving me lessons,” Lukas says rolling his eyes. “I know the basics.”

“Yeah, and those lessons are usually interrupted by make out sessions, which was why we were late for the Family Dinner last week.”

Lukas leads Philip to the driver’s side, but he’s reluctant about it.

Philip takes the keys out of his pocket, and untangles their fingers reaching up and patting Lukas on the cheek. “Don’t worry so much, babe. I’ve got this.”

Lukas rolls his eyes, and Philip gets in the car.

He closes the door and Lukas leaves to go get into the passenger’s seat.

Philip takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he’s putting the keys in the ignition.

Gabe had gotten him the car after what had happened with Lukas.

Philip had downright refused to ride on Lukas’ bike for the longest time.

Every now and then, Lukas convinced him. It did get them to places faster especially in Tivoli.

Every now and then, it was also good to have a car so they could actually reach to school dry, and not soaking wet.

Not that they were going to school today anyway.

Lukas gets in the car, putting the umbrella in the backseat. Philip wrinkles his nose but doesn’t say anything.

“Where do you want to go?” Philip asks once Lukas drops their bags into the space below his feet, and puts on his seatbelt.

The seatbelt clicks in the sudden silence, and Philip looks at him, and he feels as though the tension rackets up between them.

It suddenly feels really hot and humid in the car, and Philip doubts that it’s just the rain.

“We can always go to the cabin?”

Philip raises an eyebrow at him, “You okay with that?”

Lukas reaches out and grabs Philip’s fingers. “It’s time we replace those bad memories with good ones.”

He presses Philip’s fingers against his lips.

Philip pulls his hand away, reaching out with his other, and snagging his fingers around Lukas’ collar and pulling him over the gear shift to kiss him.

Lukas’ hands immediately slide into Philip’s hair, tugging him in closer so that they meet in the middle.

Philip’s kiss is a little desperate, and it feels like all those times after Lukas had been released from the hospital, when Philip couldn’t physically contain himself, had to kiss him, to taste him, to make sure that he was alive and _breathing_ , his heart still beating.

He slides his hands down his chest, and feels his thundering heartbeat, and Lukas pulls away from the kiss to press their foreheads together.

“I’m alright, Philip.”

“I know,” Philip says nodding.

He takes in a deep shuddering breath, and pulls away putting the car in drive.

 

*

 

Getting to the cabin wasn’t as difficult as Philip had been expecting.

Lukas did nothing more than hold his hand the entire way, fingers entwined tightly together, pressed against his thigh.

Philip drove one handed, very carefully, and Lukas made fun of him the entire way there.

Philip takes revenge in the form of pushing Lukas against the car door as soon as he gets out and is underneath the umbrella.

He kisses him hard, and Lukas reaches up pressing wet hands against Philip’s neck making him shudder.

The umbrella clatters to the floor, and the rain falls over them and they get plastered in seconds.

Philip doesn’t stop kissing Lukas until he’s panting, and hitching one of his legs over Philip’s thigh.

He pulls away then, and bends down and grabs the umbrella.

“I’ll see you inside?”

Philip turns and starts walking, and Lukas runs after him after several seconds.

Lukas has several changes of clothes at the cabin, so they change, drying themselves with a scratchy towel.

Philip runs it through his hair before throwing it at Lukas’ head.

He sits on the edge of the bed, and it feels like that time they came there, when Lukas had kissed him for the first time.

Only this time, Philip is dressed entirely in Lukas’ clothes, covered in his scent, and bearing his marks of ownership all over.

Philip knew it was a silly thing to feel smug about, which was why he totally missed the beer when Lukas threw it his way.

“Only one, don’t drop it,” Lukas says a little too late.

They both look as it rolls on the floor and burst out laughing at the same time.

Philip laughs, and picks it up.

“How did you miss that?” Lukas asks.

“Maybe a little more warning next time?” Philip suggests and opens the bottle. It spurts all over, and he holds it away from himself. “Are you kidding me?” he asks giving Lukas a half smile.

Lukas bites his lip as he sits down next to Philip.

Philip takes a sip, and Lukas doesn’t even wait for Philip to pull the bottle away from his mouth before he’s grabbing it, and taking a deep gulp from it before setting it aside and kneeling up on the bed.

He’s towering over Philip, and Philip just tilts his head to the side and looks up at him. “What are you doing?”

Lukas gives him that sweet smile again, and puts his hand to Philip’s face, cupping his cheek.

Philip looks him in the eyes and knows that they’re both remembering the same thing.

Lukas smile turns into a smirk, and he pushes Philip back on to the bed and Philip’s eyes widen.

Lukas is laughing like an asshole so Philip gets up, and punches him lightly in the stomach.

Lukas hunches over a little in mock pain, and Philip grabs him around his neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

Lukas gasps into his mouth, and moves into the kiss, pressing Philip down onto the bed, hands pressing down on either side of Philip’s head.

He pulls back and Philip groans in frustration.

“Someone’s impatient,” Lukas tuts sounding fake patronizing.

Philip pushes Lukas up, and off, and he complies, sitting back on his heels. Philip kneels up on the bed, and for a little bit he’s towering over Lukas.

Lukas tips his head back to look at him scrutinizing before he cups his face in his hands.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks rubbing his finger up into Philip’s hair.

“How far we’ve come since the first time you kissed me here,” Philip says as he wraps his arms around Lukas’ neck, shuffling closer until their knees are pressed together.

“Yeah,” Lukas says leaning forward and brushing their noses together before pressing a kiss to Philip’s lips. “But I know that’s a diversion tactic, so tell me the truth.”

Philip sighs, and lets go of Lukas letting himself fall back against the pillow.

Lukas follows, hovering over him once again. He tilts his head to the side lifting an eyebrow, and Philip copies his movements lifting both eyebrows.

“Come on,” Lukas whispers leaning closer. “Tell me what’s really bothering you.”

“I already did,” Philip whispers back craning his neck up to get closer to Lukas.

Lukas shakes his head. “We’re fine, and not in immediate danger, and nightmare aside, I know you. You wouldn’t be freaking out about just that. So spill or do I have to make you?”

“Is that a challenge?” Philip asks leaning up on his elbows.

“No,” Lukas says laughing, and it turns into giggles when Philip’s hands find his sides and starts tickling him.

“Stop it,” he says scrambling back, but there’s literally no space on the bed so he falls to the floor.

Philip sits up and looks down at him and starts laughing so hard that he falls back against the pillow again.

Lukas sits up from the floor, and mock glares at Philip.

Philip stops laughing, the giggles petering out to nothing, and the rain against the windows fill the silence between them.

Philip sits back up, and looks down at Lukas, whose mock glare has turned into a serious expression.

Philip decides to take some extreme measures.

He pulls his shirt over his head, and drops it on top of Lukas’ head.

Lukas takes the shirt off his head, and is glaring, but his eyes track the bruises across Philip’s neck and chest, as Philip leans back on his hands and raises an eyebrow at him.

Lukas clambers back on the bed, one knee right by Philip’s hip, the other in-between his thighs as he leans down and rubs his lips along the trail of bruises across his collarbones.

Philip’s hands slide underneath Lukas’ shirt and it bunches underneath his armpits before he’s pulling away to pull it over his head and drop it to the ground.

He leans back down, and tilts Philip’s head to the side and presses a kiss right behind his ear.

Philip gasps, and then moans as Lukas starts sucking lightly against the skin, before sliding his mouth down Philip’s jaw and pressing sucking kisses against Philip’s throat, making the hickies he’d left there even darker.

He mouths all over Philip’s chest, his hands following in his wake.

Philip’s eyes roll to the back of his head, and he arcs against Lukas, hands sliding into Lukas’ hair and tugging him up.

Lukas presses their mouths together hard, pressing Philip down.

Philip’s hands card through his hair, slide down the nape of his neck and he wraps his arms around Lukas shoulders, pressing them together.

Lukas kisses him harder, elbows balanced on either side of Philip’s head, sliding his tongue across Philip’s bottom lip insistently.

Philip opens up to Lukas immediately, sliding his arms around Lukas’ waist, hands pressing against his back.

Lukas kisses him, and he loses track of time, track of anything at all but the way that Lukas feels pressed against him, and the way that his mouth moves against Philip.

It’s like the world is gone except for Lukas, and Philip can’t help but drown in the moment.

He’s gasping for breath when Lukas finally pulls away, letting him actually breathe.

Philip tilts his head back looking out the window and finds that the rain has stopped.

Lukas takes the opportunity to trace the bruises along Philip’s neck with his fingers, and then press down on what has to be the darkest one, because Philip feels a pulse that goes straight down to his dick.

He gasps again, and Lukas presses harder.

“Lukas,” Philip says and his voice sounds rough, and Lukas shudders against him, hands sliding down to his thighs and he grips, and moves Philip until he’s comfortably situated between Philip’s thighs, hands sliding back up to poke against the hickies he’s left.

“Hey,” Lukas says hands sliding into Philip’s hair.

Philip’s eyes are closed and he opens them lazily to smile at Lukas.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s bothering you?”

Philip sighs, and Lukas brushes their noses together, leaning his forehead against Philip’s and looking straight into his eyes.

Philip can’t evade him anymore, so he sighs again, and moves his hands down Lukas’ back distractedly.

“It’s not even something serious. It’s just,” his eyes dart all over Lukas’ face, but Lukas stares at him intently making it impossible to look away. “In less than three months, I’m going to be in the city, and you’re going to be here.”

Lukas smiles at him, and pulls back a little, “Is that what you’re worried about?”

Philip wraps his arms securely around Lukas so that he can’t go anywhere.

“Why is that so surprising?” He leans up, and whispers into Lukas’ ear, “I always want to be as close as possible to you.”

Lukas just presses his fingers into his head, cradling his skull in his hands, pressing his forehead against Philip’s temple. “You don’t think I feel the same way.”

Philip presses a kiss to Lukas’ cheek, and sighs, “Of course I know that.”

Lukas pulls Philip’s head back, and presses a hard kiss to his mouth. “You’re so impossible to surprise.”

“What are you talking about?” Philip asks pulling away.

“I got accepted into NYU,” he says smiling brightly. “I was gonna tell you at graduation.”

Philip’s eyes widen, and his lips twitch, but, “Are you serious?”

“Completely,” Lukas says leaning down and kissing Philip’s nose. “I have the acceptance letter in my bag.”

Philip pushes against Lukas, until Lukas leans back against his heels, and Philip is sitting up, legs still hitched on either side of Lukas.

Lukas just continues to smile, and Philip just looks at him.

After a few minutes of silence, Lukas looks at him a little worriedly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Philip just smiles, and launches himself at Lukas.

Lukas almost falls off the bed, but he maneuvers them into a more comfortable position, Philip straddling his waist, as he presses kisses all over his face, laughing delightedly.

“You did this for me?” Philip asks wonderingly.

“Of course,” Lukas answers immediately. “I never want us to be apart.”

Philip presses their mouths together.

Lukas slides his hands up and down his thighs.

Philip pulls back and smiles. “I love you.”

Lukas smiles back. “I love you.”

 

*

 

Philip doesn’t know when they fall asleep, but he wakes up with his face buried in Lukas’ neck, practically on top of him, Lukas’ arms wrapped around him.

He hears his phone ringing from somewhere which was probably what woke him up, but he ignores it, and settles down closer to Lukas.

It’s then he notices that Lukas’ heart is racing, and that’s he’s breathing hard, and maybe it wasn’t the phone that woke him up.

He pulls away looking down at Lukas, his brow is furrowed, and he looks distressed.

Philip should’ve known better than to agree to come to the cabin.

He gently shakes Lukas awake, patting his cheeks, and shaking his arm.

Lukas startles awake, narrowly missing hitting Philip in the face as he moves out of the way when Lukas’ eyes opened wild.

He sits up as Lukas looks around wildly before seeing Philip and throwing himself back down on top of the bed taking a deep breath.

“Nightmare?” Philip asks gathering his knees to his chest, and wrapping his arms around his shins, leaning his chin against his arms, and giving Lukas his complete attention.

Lukas takes another deep breath and then looks over to Philip. He opens his mouth and then closes it and looks at Philip in confusion.

“What are you doing all the way over there?”

Philip shrugs, and Lukas reaches out wrapping his fingers around Philip’s wrist and tugging him back down to lie down next to him.

“Yeah,” he says as soon as Philip gets comfortable tucking his head in Lukas’ neck. “Nightmare, but you’re here, and we’re alright, and that’s all that matters.”

“Sap,” Philip mutters underneath Lukas’ chin.

Lukas pinches him in the side. Philip wiggles a little bit closer, and bites against Lukas’ neck.

His phone starts ringing again and Lukas’ stomach growls at the same time.

“We got any food?” Philip asks as he crawls over Lukas to go silence his phone.

Lukas groans as he stretches on the bed, and then gets off it looking in the small fridge.

Philip silences his phone, and sees that all of his missed calls are from Gabe and Helen.

He sends Gabe a message telling him that he’s fine, and with Lukas, and leaves the phone where it was on top of the small table.

When he turns back to Lukas, he’s still bent over looking into the fridge.

“There are some questionable looking strawberries, and a pack of crackers and cheese?”

He pulls everything out and lays it out on the bed, before sitting down.

Philip sits down on the other side of their snack, and takes the pack of crackers and opens it.

The cheese is a block of cheddar that Lukas starts crumbling and eating almost immediately.

Philip munches on stale crackers and gives Lukas a thoughtful look.

“You know our fridge has to be better stocked than this,” he comments.

“We hardly come to the cabin anymore,” Lukas starts as he begins poking through the strawberries and grabs one and bites into it before he looks at Philip with wide eyes. “ _Our_ fridge?”

“Well, yeah,” Philip says eating another cracker before standing up and taking a water bottle from the fridge. He throws one to Lukas who is still looking at him with a stunned expression.

“I was planning on getting a cheap apartment because I don’t want to dorm with a stranger, and well, you’re coming with me, so yeah, _our_ fridge has to be better stocked than this.”

“Did you just ask me to move in with you?” Lukas asks forgetting all about the strawberry in his hand.

Philip takes a long sip from his water bottle before setting it aside and standing in front of Lukas.

“You’re the one who said you didn’t want us to be apart, so technically you’re the one who asked.”

Lukas raises an eyebrow at that, but he turns setting his feet down on the ground, and reaching out and dragging Philip between his knees. “Be serious, you want me to move in with you?”

Philip puts his hands on Lukas’ shoulders. “Technically, we’re already living together, since we never sleep apart.”

“ _Philip_ ,” Lukas says pushing his hips lightly.

“Okay,” Philip says smiling and leaning down to press their foreheads together. “Yes, I’m asking. Move in with me when we go to college in the city?”

Lukas tilts his head back and kisses him, and his mouth tastes like sharp cheddar and the sweet-sour taste of the strawberry.

Philip licks into his mouth, and Lukas moans low in his throat, sliding his arms around Philip’s hips and tugging him in closer.

Lukas pulls away after a few minutes, “That was a yes, by the way.”

“That I gathered,” Philip teases kissing him again.

He moves back, and Lukas lets him go.

They finish their makeshift lunch, sharing the six good strawberries Lukas found, and sprinkling the crumbled cheese over the crackers. Lukas cleans everything up, while Philip drinks a second bottle of water, and just looks at him.

“You know, a good thing about us having our own place will be that no one will be able to interrupt us anymore.”

Lukas maybe closes the fridge a little too hard as he turns around to look at Philip.

“Are you talking about what I think you’re talking about?” he asks stepping over to Philip.

Philip just leans back against his hands, and gives Lukas a smirk. “What do you think we’re talking about?”

Lukas rolls his eyes, and pushes Philip back so that he’s flat on his back before crawling on top of him, knees on either side of Philip’s hips and hands on either side of his head.

“I think you told me that you weren’t being a tease, and that was _hours_ ago.”

Philip laughs as Lukas kisses him, and he can’t stop giggling.

Lukas sighs against his mouth, and trails his lips down Philip’s neck, since Philip won’t cooperate and kiss him back.

He bites down hard against the hickey that he keeps coming back to and making worse, and Philip’s laugh turns into a groan, and it’s louder than they’re both used to since they have to keep quiet whenever they’re at each other’s houses, just in case.

Lukas pulls away to look at him with a shit eating grin on his face, and Philip’s eyes narrow.

“That’s another advantage. You can be as loud as you want.”

“Oh really?” Philip says raising an eyebrow. “ _I_ can be as loud as I want?”

Lukas flushes, but the grin stays firmly in place, at least until Philip pushes against his chest, turning them around, and rolling them off the bed.

Lukas lands hard on the floor, and gives a groan of pain.

Philip makes sure that he doesn’t land too hard on top of him, catching most of his weight on his hands, before he’s scrambling down, leaning back on his heels between Lukas’ knees and tugging against the strings holding his sweatpants up.

“What are you doing?” Lukas asks sounding breathless and turned on.

“Proving a point,” Philip says before he’s tugging Lukas’ sweats down to his thighs.

Getting Lukas off with his mouth has always been easy, because Lukas is ridiculously easy when it comes to Philip.

So it doesn’t take long, but he does prove his point.

Lukas pants into the air, and Philip presses a kiss to his hip, and leans against his stomach looking out the window.

“I think I just saw several birds take off startled, by how loud that was.”

“Shut up,” Lukas says immediately pushing against Philip’s head weakly. “You couldn’t have possibly have seen anything. I know for a fact your eyes were closed.”

Philip doesn’t deny it, but he gets up, crawling up Lukas’ body and pressing a kiss to his throat. “Are you saying that I was wrong?”

“No,” Lukas shudders, and leans into the kisses Philip starts peppering up his throat. “But I would like to state for the record that that was unfair. You _know_ how much I like your mouth.”

Philip pulls away and hovers over Lukas’ face. “Yeah?”

Lukas’ eyes are on his mouth right now. He reaches forward and drags his thumb across Philip’s bottom lip.

Philip pushes into the touch. His lips feel tender, and Lukas touch just fans the flames that are already coursing inside of him.

“Do you want to…?” Philip starts, but Lukas shuts him up with a kiss.

He drags them up to the bed, and lays Philip on his back.

Philip stares up at him, and Lukas leans over him, and whispers, “I love you,” and seals it with a kiss.

 

*

 

Philip gets home way after dark, and when he turns off the car, and looks at all the missed calls from Helen and Gabe, he knows that he’s going to be in trouble.

But still, that doesn’t stop the smile that spreads across his face.

Lukas had stopped him from leaving his house by kissing him right in the doorway.

Philip had lost track of time, and by the time that Bo came home, Lukas was halfway to shirtless in the doorway to their home.

Bo gives him a _look_ as he gets out of the car.

“I know I said I was fine with this, but that doesn’t mean I want to see you undressing my son in my front door.”

“No, sir,” Philip says automatically eyes wide, and Lukas frantically pushes him towards his car following after him.

Bo actually rolls his eyes and walks into the house saying. “Lukas get in the house.”

“In a minute, dad,” Lukas calls back as they retreat into the shadows over in front of the garage.

Philip’s heart is racing and not in a good way.

“That was close,” Lukas says.

“What do you mean close?” Philip just barely manages not to yell, but he does whisper angrily. “Your dad who’s trying and fails at times just caught us making out in the middle of your doorway.”

“He’ll just give me a lecture  about proper venues, and how he's not running a red light district or something like that,” Lukas says shrugging his shoulders, and he's smiling, so Philip lets it go.

After the whole shooting thing, and Bo learning the _whole_ truth, there had been good days and bad days, but lately, Philip noticed that there had been more good days than bad days.

Lukas’ dad was coming round to the fact that Lukas was gay, and he hadn’t stopped loving him, like Lukas had feared.

“But it was close,” Lukas leans in, pressing Philip against his car. “I was just about to drop to my knees for you.”

Philip gives him a look. “Now who’s being a tease?”

Lukas leans down and nips at his lips, “Still you.”

Philip pushes him away, “I have to get home before Helen and Gabe kill me, and you have to go inside and face your dad.”

Philip raises an eyebrow, and Lukas just rolls his eyes at him before he leans in for one last kiss.

The porch light turns on rather pointedly.

Lukas just kisses him one more time before running inside of his house.

Philip waits for Lukas to close the door behind himself, but he doesn’t, which means he doesn’t think his dad will overreact to anything.

Philip still waits five more minutes after getting in his car before heading home.

Once he enters the house, he sees Helen and Gabe sitting in the dining room table.

“Welcome home,” Gabe says before pointing to a chair. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

Philip drops his bag on the counter and sits down across from Gabe giving them both his full attention.

“We know that you went through something that most people don’t go through in their lifetimes,” Helen starts, reaching out and patting Philip’s hands which were folded on top of the table. “You’re entitled to having bad days.”

“That being said,” Gabe continues. “You cannot just skip school without telling us, and then not answer your phone the whole day, except to send one message stating that you were okay.”

Helen nods along. “If you had told us this morning that you didn’t feel like going, we would’ve probably been okay with it.”

Gabe nods, “But every action has consequences.”

He and Helen look at each other, then back at Philip.

“Lukas can’t sleep over here for a week,” Helen says.

Gabe’s mouth twitches almost as though he’s knows how impossible that is going to be.

“We mean it, Philip,” Helen says seriously, giving Gabe an equally serious look. “We know you’re eighteen, but you’re still living with us for at least a couple more months until you finish school. So no sleepovers with your boyfriend for the next week starting tonight.”

She taps her fist twice against the table as though a gavel. Gabe gives him a smile that tells Philip that he won't tell if Lukas does sleep over.

Philip watches them stand, and walk up the stairs and Gabe tells Helen that they should go canoeing in the morning.

Philip stays seated in the dining room table for a few more minutes before his phone vibrates in his pocket.

Philip pulls it out.

_From: Lukas:_ _Where are you?_

Philip frowns.

_To: Lukas:_ _In my kitchen, where are you?_

Philip stands up to go get a glass of water and collect his bag from the counter.

He drinks his water, and hears a light thud upstairs not coming in the direction of Helen and Gabe’s room.

Philip frowns and his phone vibrates.

_From: Lukas:_ _I’m in your room._

Philip rolls his eyes, but he can’t help the smile on his face.

He leaves the glass half full, and grabs his bag and heads up the stairs.

He passes Gabe and Helen’s closed door, and ducks into his own room, locking the door for good measure.

He turns around, and Lukas is right there pushing him up against the door. Philip drops his bag on the floor with a gasp.

“Hey,” Lukas whispers, as he cradles Philip’s head in his hands and kisses him.

They don’t make a loud noise as Lukas presses him into the door, and Philip thanks god for that.

He pulls away from Lukas’ mouth. “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you,” Lukas said kissing him on the cheek, and nudging his nose into it. “And my dad has forbidden sleepovers.”

Philip smiles at that, “So has Helen. Gabe probably already knows you’re here.”

Lukas smiles back, and leans in to kiss him again.

Philip pulls away, “Maybe we should take this somewhere where we’ll make less noise.”

“Okay,” Lukas nods. “Come here.”

His hands slide down to the back of Philip’s neck, and he pulls him away from the door and backs up into Philip’s bed, pressing a kiss to Philip’s lips.

Philip leans into him, fingers snagged into the collar of his shirt, and when Lukas falls back into the bed Philip follows him down.

Lukas slides his hands down Philip’s back as Philip kisses him hands wrapping around his throat, and tipping his head back.

Lukas’ hands slide to the backs of his thighs and in between his legs. Philip takes that as the hint it is, and straddles Lukas’ hips, knees digging down into the mattress.

Lukas makes an approving noise and kisses him harder, leaning up, and then he’s flipping them over in a smooth movement.

Philip’s on his back before he’s even aware of it, but he doesn’t exactly mind as he slides his hands up into Lukas’ hair and continues to kiss him, slowing the kiss when Lukas starts to get desperate with it.

Lukas’ hands are still on his thighs, and he squeezes them before pulling back a little.

“Want me to make good on what I said earlier?” Lukas asks hands moving down to the waistband of Philip’s pants.

Philip leans up on his elbows, and gives Lukas a soft kiss.

“Can we just lie down?” he asks barely pulling away.

“Of course,” Lukas says, hands moving up to wrap around Philip’s waist.

He presses another kiss on his lips, and lies back on the bed.

Lukas arranges himself around Philip, and kicks off his shoes as he does.

Philip turns his head to look at him when he feels Lukas just staring at him.

Lukas just raises an eyebrow, and Philip turns into him, hiding his face in Lukas’ neck, and wrapping an arm around his waist.

“You okay?” Lukas asks pressing a kiss to Philip’s forehead.

Philip nods. “You?” he asks his voice muffled.

“I survived. You survived. We’re both here, and I’m never letting you go, so yeah, I’m pretty okay.”

Philip lifts his head up to give Lukas a look, “Why are you such a sap?”

“Because I love you,” Lukas says simply.

Philip just lets out a breath, and leans over and presses a kiss to Lukas’ mouth. “I love you.”

He hides his face again, and Lukas tugs him closer to himself.

Philip moves his arm from around Lukas’ waist, and up under his shirt to feel his heart thudding under his palm.

Lukas presses the hand, over his shirt, and his hold on Philip tightens.

Philip sighs and falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm too tired to edit this again, so if there are ANY mistakes, at ALL, just point them out to me, and i will fix it, or i will go over it tomorrow, but i'm tired, and i wanna get this posted just in case ao3 goes on vacation again <3


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